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Adult Supervision Does not Necessarily Assure Safety in the Weight Room
Many times I’ve remained an advocate supporting weight training for our young population. Research has suggested over and over the positive effects weight training offers. It improves strength, reduces body fat enhances self-esteem and improves self-confidence. Contrary to popular belief, if training properly, research has not supported the myth, “weight training will adversely effect one’s growth.” In fact, it does support the notion that when done properly, it enhances skeletal maturation and growth.
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How to support your child athlete without too much pressure: 7 easy steps
(02/10/2004)
When your son or daughter picks up that bat and glove or puts on those soccer cleats, or basketball shoes, you, as a parent, take on a new role: the parent of an athlete. It can be a scary hat to wear. You’ve heard the horror stories
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Bullying on the Sports Field... What is It?
(Aug. 8, 2004)
Fair Play vs. Foul Play. Appropriate Behavior vs. Inappropriate Behavior. Youth. Schools. Camps. Sports. What’s going on?
BULLYING! And it’s a big problem!
Recall your own school, camp or sports memories and, chances are, a bullying incident is part of them.
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Do You Really Want to Know?
The media is oh so eager to learn the identity of those who are Steroid users. Eager to be the first to print the Breaking News story: “Joe Homerun Hitter
found guilty of steroid use.”
Daily, there is the media push and the need to know who these players are.
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Who Says Kids Shouldn't lift Weights?
(07/10/2004)
Forever and a day we have been told “children should not lift weights. Lifting weights will damage growing bones; it will stunt the growth of a child.” If children are allowed to lift weights, they will get hurt. Well, guess what? That’s just not true.
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A Hit For All
(03/22/2004)
This week a local Little League hit a Home Run. By unanimous vote, board members of the New City Little League (Rockland County, New York) voted to institute a Continuous Batting Order into its boys (10-12 year olds) major league division.
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The psychology of a winner
(12/27/04)
At a certain level of professional competition, the skill difference in many top athletes becomes negligible. What is it, then, that separates the number one tennis player from the number fifteen? Why does the number ninety-ninth ranked tennis player double-fault at match point? In basketball, why do some players consistently hit the free throw when the game is on the line, and why do some consistently choke? Top-level players relate feeling calm, energized and positive during performances. This is “the zone,” that all athletes aspire to. Why do some players reach “the zone” while others with equal or even greater talent do not?
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Back Pain, a huge economic and medical burden
(Dec 29, 2003)
The economic impact for the diagnosis and treatment of Back Pain surpasses 100 billion dollars annually. Fortunately, maintaining a regular exercise program, at a minimum of three sessions/week, for 30-60 minutes/session can help to alleviate most symptoms of back pain.
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Ephedra is Banned, but will it go away?
(Dec 31, 2003)
Kudos to the United States Government for its stand and ban of the dietary supplement, Ephedra. This seemingly innocuous, over the counter, dietary weight loss aid has been linked to at least 155 deaths and there are over 16,00 reports of people suffering adverse effects from it.
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My New Year's Resolution
(Jan 03, 2004)
The Holiday Season is just behind us, 2004 is here.
Hopefully, you all enjoyed a healthy and happy year in 2003, which will continue into 2004. Like many rituals in life, the end of year holiday season reminds us of "resolution's and promises" we make to ourselves.
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How to support your child athlete without too much pressure: 7 easy steps
(02/10/2004)
When your son or daughter picks up that bat and glove or puts on those soccer cleats, or basketball shoes, you, as a parent, take on a new role: the parent of an athlete. It can be a scary hat to wear. You’ve heard the horror stories
Read More -->
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Bullying on the Sports Field... What is It?
(Aug. 8, 2004) |
Fair Play vs. Foul Play. Appropriate Behavior vs. Inappropriate Behavior. Youth. Schools. Camps. Sports. What’s going on?
BULLYING! And it’s a big problem!
Recall your own school, camp or sports memories and, chances are, a bullying incident is part of them.
Bullying statistics are scary too. Research shows that 90%+ of children have been victims or observers (bystanders) of bullying, and one in five report frequent bullying that makes life miserable.
Playing to Win…or Bullying? Here’s How to Tell…
On the field or court, a fine line exists between competitive play and bullying. When does a kid cross the line between fair play and foul play?
Bullying is when one or more team members (the bully or bullies) target a single other person (the victim) and use behavior that has the intent to hurt. Here’s the breakdown:
· Physical bullying is the easiest to identify and what most of us know. It includes behaviors like hitting, slapping, head butting, towel snapping, tripping, etc.
· Verbal bullying involves name calling, unwanted nicknames, taunting, rudeness and threats of violence
· Relational bullying can be excluding another player, gossiping, “talking trash” and embarrassment
The Bully CoachSM “Guide to Bullying” (a free reference chart) for parents, coaches and players is available at www.respectu.com
All types of bullying hurt and can leave victims with long-lasting scars. The ultimate use of power by a bully against a victim both on and off the field and the intent of the bully to use his/her power to harm the victim determines the line between fair play and foul play.
For example, “talking-trash” may be fine when it is done in fun, is not intended to harm and the balance of power is even between the two parties. When the line gets crossed, someone needs to step in because it may escalate into the foul play zone.
Are Bystanders Ever Truly “Innocent?”
In almost every bully situation, a bully, a victim and observer(s) take part. Because bullying is about power, having an audience makes a bully feel even more important.
Sadly, bystanders who let bullying happen begin to think that the less powerful victim deserves to be ostracized. (“He really messed up on that shot. I can understand why Joe is in his face.”) The bystanders justify and perpetuate bullying. They don’t want to be bullied themselves, and feel relieved someone else is the target.
The message to the victim is clear: you deserve this! The victim feels broken down again. A victim may suffer a loss of interest in sports, self-esteem, anxiety and withdrawal from social activities.
Identify the Victim…Identify the Bully…Then Deal with It!
How do we know if our children are being bullied? Look for behavior changes. Is the child abandoning a loved sport or friendship with another child, or acting disinterested in playing? Does he or she often report physical concerns like tiredness, aches and pains?
Parents should ask their child important questions like: who do you hang out with on the team? Do you have someone to eat with? Who do you sit with on the bus? Have you ever seen someone being teased? Have you ever been picked on? Have you picked on someone else on the team?
Bullies may have a different profile than you might expect. They can be smart, popular, and socially skilled. However, they are more comfortable using aggression and have little empathy for their victims. 60% of bullies who go unchecked in life have a criminal record by their mid-twenties.
Remember, at least 50% of all bullying goes unreported! You can only get to the facts by encouraging conversation with your child.
Now, the Big Question… How Do We Stop Bullying?
1. Parents must advocate for their kids and help them stand up on their own.
2. Coaches must set the tone and not tolerate team or individual behaviors that look, feel or smell like foul play. If coaches act like bullies or let bullying occur, teams breed the very kind of foul play that destroys the sports experience for kids who may have less athletic ability.
3. Bystanders must be trained to play a major role. I’ve listened to countless kids, teens and adults talk about watching other people get bullied and then feeling guilty and anxious because they didn’t intervene. My training is geared towards encouraging bystanders to be “team heroes” by safely stepping in and helping create environments where bullying simply isn’t tolerated.
I’ve launched what I call the “Good Sports Program” for schools, summer camps and sports teams, targeted specifically at athletes and coaches. I teach these groups to encourage hero behavior and use power the right way.
If we intervene early and work with athletes to be good team players and help coaches learn the difference between “fair play and foul play”, we can correct the power imbalance in bullying and have a truly competitive – and winning -- experience for children in sports.
Have a sports bullying story you want to share?
Please e-mail me at bullycoach@aol.com.
© Joel D. Haber, Ph.D. “The Bully Coach”
www.respectu.com Bullycoach@aol.com
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